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You don't know the Rockhouse Brothers?

Well, on this site I won't tell you their profiles or any other information you can find on their own website anyway. But I will give you a fantastic picture story including 50 funny or beautiful photos taken in September 2005 in Hamburg. Please be patient, I saved all the pictures at a size of 300x400 pixel so they will take some time to load. Have fun!


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The Rockhouse Story

Of course every great career in music starts rather early, so first we have a look at three young musicians attending their musical lessons together. There the wolf puppy is a real geek, when they are asked about their progressing he always wants to show what he has learned at home on his little glockenspiel.



Sometimes even the teacher likes to twit our little wolf puppy a bit and so he is vainly waiting for his cue while his classmate Joe is playing a guitar solo. Jamie considers the waiting wolf to be highly amusing and he nearly falls off his seat howling with laughter.



Improvement can't happen without failure. Joe plays a wonderful solo and sings at the same time. The teacher is very pleased with him what encourages Joe to get funky a bit. So he ends up with his braces getting stuck at the mic.



No catastrophe for Jamie so far, he enjoys the extraordinary lesson that has been full of fun and laughter for him.



Wolff can't forget that Jamie laughed at him when he was waiting for his cue. But during this lesson he finally gets his chance for a revenge. When Jamie does his silly surfing performance and needs to concentrate on that very hard, he takes him at this disadvantage, snarls, jumps over his drum set and carves his fangs deeply into Jamie's ankle.



Everybody is highly surprised. Especially the anguished Jamie who tries very hard to shake off the beast and whimpers through gritted teeth. Normally the little wolf is nice and behaves rather well, but you might know the reason for this sudden violent behaviour: There is a full moon tonight and so he changes from the lovely puppy into a cruel werewolf.



The teacher remembers hardly soon enough that Wolfman's psychiatrists told him a trick to calm the werewolf: he needs to spend a little time in front of his drum set where he can attract more attention from the audience.



This doesn't reverse the mutation but the surrounding pupils are save until they leave at the end of the lesson. Then the wolf can be stupefied by a gamekeeper without shocking the other children. 



"Stupefied????"


Some years later...
The kids have grown up, improved their musical abilities on different instruments and established their first band calling themselves "Rockhouse Brothers". You might think they just chose this name because of Rock'n'Roll but there are additional religious reasons ("On this ROCK I will build my church..."). Their gigs always start with Wolfman preaching and praying for success. Joe and James start rocking when the little green man behind the drum set says the blessing.



But Wolff isn't the only religious zealot on stage. Sometimes when you are very quiet and there are no bad people around, you can see the polished halo over Joe's head what gave him his nickname "the Saint". Furthermore Joe and Wolff always tell, that they can sense heavenly vibrations with their forefingers when the halo is glowing.



Of course Jamie is trying very hard to feel the vibrations, too, but he is not able to work out how to use his fingers for that.



One of the most important topics for Rock'n'Roll musicians are women! Especially Jamie sometimes starts to think about the woman of his dreams during their gigs and when he dares to close his eyes, the situation gets out of control quite easy...






Joe of course is afraid of trouble with his mother because of the rumors caused by his dreaming brother. He absolutely hates this, but always tries not to show his disapproval. Well, sometimes you can see the fire blazing in his eyes when he looks at Jamie and says: "Stop it, Jamie, she's gone!"



But Jamie always feels so lonely...
He doesn't dare to whisper his reply in English, so hopefully Joe can't understand him yet: "Wenn ich schon kein Groupie abkrieg', kann ich ja wohl wenigstens meinen Bass flachlegen!"



Unfortunately Joe understood his little brother perfectly. But he loves him very much and so he offers: "Take your double bass, aim very well and I allow you to take home the woman you hit with your first strike."



During the brothers' fights about Jamie's performance, the Wolfman tries to read the love letters and postcards he always takes with him. God bless the multitasking drummer! He is quite sure that nobody can see the letters lying on his bass drum.



Unfortunately he is purblind and can't decipher everything the girls are writing, but Joe and Jamie give some glasses to him that are supposed to help. Now the Wolfman can read his love letters and even see the most beautiful fans. But because the band just could afford a cheap glasses frame, the girls now stop writing love letters to Wolff.



In his deep desperation he tries to find a way to cheer up a bit and so he tells Joe, that nobody will be able to notice him playing with closed eyes all the time when he wears this glasses. After that he directly tells Jamie, that he can see UFOs with this special kind of glasses. Unfortunately Jamie now can't reach his microphone any more and he tries so hard...





...that he bangs his head against the microphone. Ouch! Luckily his hair covers the lump.



Suddenly there is a new tension. Jamie realizes, that his microphone is a kind of rival in business and he gets very angry about that. From now on there is rivalry on stage.



In former times the three Rockhouse Brothers were like real brothers, for example whenever Joe lost his pick Jamie and Wolf immediately started to search the ground to bar Joe from starting to cry.



But today everything is different.
Jamie and Wolff are very angry with Joe, because they have told him so many times to refit his guitar's varnish, but he simply ignores this even if the looks he receives are not very comfortable. Or why else should Joey look so embarrassed? (Watch his feet!)



When the Wolfman demonstrates his brilliant abilities on the drums (for example playing the ride cymbal with his tambourine instead of a drumstick), Jamie gets so jealous that he climbs onto his bass speaker and invents the bass guitar just to be the better one.



He succeeds this time and doesn't hide his feelings of triumph.



Next we can witness some sibling rivalry. Joey wants to show something special, too, and climbs onto the double bass, but Jamie immediately calls the security.



Joe is lucky, there is no security today. But Jamie absolutely doesn't want to share his double bass and tries to shout loud enough so the police can hear him.
 


Before the policemen arrive, Joe betakes himself to flight.



Worse comes to worst: The right drumstick did something wrong, so the last fight of the evening takes place between two drumsticks... sibling rivalry between twins!



Or is there another reason for the violence between the drumsticks? Perhaps the Rockhouse Brothers should hire a new drummer! They do their very best to find someone, but the unknown talent is much too shy and always hides himself behind the guitar.



So Joe and Jamie drop the idea of a new drummer, drive to the animal shelter and free the Wolfman again. Jamie regrets this very soon, because since being in the shelter there are some fleas in Wolff's fur who like Jamie's sweaty hair very much, too.



And since the attack in their lesson when they were children, Jamie's ankle is sometimes very hard to handle. Rumors are telling that the doctors took away the bones and replaced them by gum. Whenever the audience can see Jamie twisting his ankle, Wolff is very embarrassed about that because whenever there is no full moon he regrets the bite. 



Joe announces happily during their next gig that they have readopted the best drummer ever: The Wolfman! And of course Wolff is happy about being back, too.



Joe doesn't mention Jamie's injuries caused by the Wolfman, what of course makes Jamie very angry. On stage he is brave, he hides his anger and desperation in his dancing performance instead of attacking his colleague. The angrier he gets the better he is able to move his hips.



Perhaps a night with some cute girls could help to calm him down again completely? Joe is not fast enough to stop his little brother and so Jamie aims again (even though the first victim is still lying unconscious in the van). The girl Jamie is aiming on is rather far away from their stage so he decides to throw his double bass this time.



Guess how much Joey likes Jamie doing this?



In punishment of the second injured beauty, he fetches the instrument and glues Jamie's thumb to the finger board of his double bass.



Yeah, older brothers can be so cruel... Joe intended to use wallpaper paste so Jamie is able to play the bass again soon, but instead he takes super glue by mistake and so Jamie has to play the next gig with the glued thumb.






There is no way to free his thumb. Even when he slips on a teddy thrown by a groupie he can't loose his hold on the bass.



Well, the punishment really has been enough and Joe prevents Jamie from hitting the floor: he sacrifices himself and his knees hit the ground with a loud bang.



The emergency surgery is very expensive, but a few weeks later Joe is as good as new again. Unfortunately the doctors want to be paid very soon, so he has to sell everything they don't need by auction. He starts with all the useless percussion instruments...



... and goes on with a sack full of wolf food.



And of course Joe tries to sell Jamie again as a slave for 24 hours. To make the offer more attractive so the audience pays as much as they can, Joe shows the last naked pictures of his little brother. As always without permission. That's why Jamie starts mutating to an ice age squirrel during the gigs, but he is not very ambitious. He just manages to change his shadow.



Nevertheless he is admired by Joe for that feat.



The Wolfman considers all this to be quite boring so he climbs on his seat and thinks about turning a somersault across his drum set. Just to do something special for the first time in his life.



The future gigs will end a bit earlier and there will be more breaks, so the getting older Joe will never again be forced to play when he needs to find a toilet.



Wow, it's time to end this story! So I give you one last pictures to admire, perhaps you can imagine listening to one of your favourite Rockhouse Brothers songs?



There's no need to discuss, that the Rockhouse Brothers gigs are always wonderful. And now finally it has been discovered, how they are able to do this:
Look at the CD jewel case lying on the floor. Then follow the cables...

There's a CD player hidden inside the bass drum!!!

The ride cymbal is used as the "play" button, the crash cymbal as "pause". And the standing tom is filled with beer, you can even see the two black taps above the CD player buttons.
(The man with the sunglasses behind the set reacts when you call "Waiter!")



Perhaps the Rockhouse Brothers should attend some musical lessons?
 
Stand: 05.04.2006